Where We Get Our Beliefs


I learned from my parents that their needs were more important than mine. In my child’s mind, I came to believe that meant everybody’s needs were more important. And I continued to hold this belief for most of my adult life.


Beliefs are handed down to us as children by the significant figures in our lives. We practice them like traditions. We adopt and adapt, having no real understanding of their purpose or validity.


And as adults, we go about our lives unaware of how these beliefs influence our behaviors and decisions. Rarely do we ever stop to question where they came from and if they serve our greater good. Instead we hold on to them out of fear that change may result in us coming undone.


Why It Is Crucial to Question Your Beliefs


A crucial aspect of self awareness is to shed light on these beliefs that lurk in the shadows of our subconscious mind. Because while they seem innocuous, invalid and false beliefs will keep you rooted to your past. Which is why as we try to grow and evolve as adults, we often feel like we are being held back by our “old stuff”. Old outdated beliefs keep you rooted to your wounded inner child, your unresolved pain, and any unresolved past trauma.


Much in the same way we outgrow clothes, behaviors, and relationships; we also outgrow beliefs. This doesn’t mean you have to uproot your life by questioning all your beliefs. A good start is to look at an area of your life where you feel challenged.


Some common challenges all of us women struggle with include:


  • Boundaries in Relationships
  • Insecurities in Relationships
  • Familial Conflict
  • People Pleasing
  • Job Satisfaction
  • Confidence


  1. Begin by getting curious about the beliefs you hold in this area of your life. Try to remember where or how they originated. What experiences have reinforced this belief in your life. What emotions are associated with this belief?
  2. Next, I want you to ask yourself if this belief is in alignment with your goals? Does this belief illicit positive feelings or negative feelings?
  3. Finally, if the belief is not in alignment with your goals and makes you feel bad, these are string indicators you need to revise or update this belief. Reword it a way that supports the person you aspire to become and the life you aspire to live.


For help in re-framing your beliefs, download one of my popular Reboot Programs for step-by-step guidance.